Who does she think she is?
STICKS AND STONES
I've wanted to do this post for a while but I've been hesitant because I shouldn't have to justify why I blog, I don't feel like I need to. It's a post that I drafted many times, deleted twice and have finally found a sort of peace in what I want to say.
The reason behind this post is because I think its important for those who do read my blog to know is that I see you. I see my friends who are encouraging and supportive because they tell me so, I have friends who (lovingly) take the mickey because they joke that I want to be 'instafamous' (*insert hair flick here*), I have friends who I haven't been in touch with for a while contact me to tell me that they are enjoying the blog, are glad that I'm doing well and we catch up and I love that, and then there are people who are more acquaintances who make subtle digs, who I know take the piss and I want you to know that I see you.
I see you tagging friends in Facebook posts about lunch time workout routines and commenting 'please refer this to our blogger friend'. I see you when you post an InstaStory two minutes after I do, criticising a smoothie I've made, a picture I've posted or a workout I've done. I see the subtleties, I see the mocking, I see it all. Mark asked me why I didn't just delete those people off of Facebook and Instagram. As always, he makes a very good point with his Vulcan-like logic but it was too late, I had seen the jokes made at my expense, from unexpected places, from people I used to know. The only thing I can say is shame on your for laughing at and trying to discourage someone who is actively working to better themselves.
I am quite a creative person and have enjoyed writing for years; whether it be in journals, notebooks or my MyFitnessPal Blog. I find the process very therapeutic and it motivates me to stick to my goals if I am 'publicly' accountable. I have shared that 2017 was a rough year for me, a devastatingly hard year for me, and it is something that I am still recovering from. My goal for 2018 is to work towards being happier and healthier and this blog and what I post otherwise is part of that process.
Not only that but it makes me feel more connected to my friends, and its a two way street; I have several friends who blog and I LOVE reading their posts and sharing in their stories, it makes me feel more connected like an active participant in their lives. Particularly, my long distance bestie, Frankii, has an amazing blog (Mastering Mum). We don't get to speak everyday and the amount of times we have arranged to Skype and it just falls through because that's life, I really treasure her posts. Other blogs from amazing people I know and I really enjoy reading their different stories are:
Also for those of you who know me well, you will know that I have dyslexia. For me, I have been told by educational psychologists that my dyslexia effects the central processor in my brain in such a way that it effects my long term memory. It is a battle for me every-damn-day and I am beyond terrified that when I'm older that my memory will totally fail me and I will not remember my experiences. That's another reason why I take so many photos and why I write, to capture my story, for me.
So who does she think she is? I'm unapologetically me.
I'm not trying to be a massive blogger- Christ knows I'm already busy enough with being a Newly Qualified Solicitor and trying to fit in workouts, never mind running a home and spending time with Mark and our loved ones. If you like my blog, thank you for reading my ramblings and not being too judgmental about me putting up pictures of me in my pants (which is terrifying btw). I do the blog for me and not for reactions or views so on that note if you are reading it to get a laugh and be negative, well then this is for you...
Peace & love.
